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Owl love Mar. 22nd, 2010 @ 01:32 am
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They gave me Joe's ashes today Sep. 14th, 2009 @ 07:36 pm
I can't do this. This was not supposed to happen. He was only 38. WTF am I supposed to do now? We were supposed to grow old together. Persephone was supposed to grow up with her parents. I sleep on his side of the bed so I won't look over expecting to see him.

Joe died Sep. 8th, 2009 @ 02:28 pm
My husband Joe died of an apparent pulmonary embolism late Wednesday night. The memorial is tonight at 6 at the funky pirate on bourbon.

Joe has stage 4 melanoma Jun. 18th, 2009 @ 09:25 pm
Fucking terrible. His chances of survival are, statistically, slim. But he's young and ready to fight. He's qualified for a drug study and will get into more if this one doesn't work out. I cannot and will not live without my husband.
His folks are coming tomorrow. He's going to explain it all to them then. He was crying today thinking about it.

An unfortunate update on my life May. 18th, 2009 @ 12:34 pm
Let me preface this by saying that I'm sorry that I've neglected my LJ.

Okay, Persephone's 3 1/2 now and still basically not speaking. We took her to her doctor who ordered genetic tests. She tested positive for a horrible genetic condition called Miller Dieker Syndrome. She's had a brain MRI but doesn't see the geneticist until the 28th of this month or the neurologist until the 23rd of next month.

Last month, Joe had a lymph node swell up and started having back pain.
He had the node out and there was a metastatic melanoma in it.
On Friday, we went in for a PET scan. About an hour after we got home, we were called back into the ER and told that Joe needed to pack a bag. They'd found a tumor on his T7 vertebrae. They did an MRI and it showed that the tumor had burst out of the vertebrae and was in the spinal canal. Fortunately NOT in the cord. The neurosurgeon, after asking all sorts of questions and having Joe do leg moves and such, decided that we could wait a few days for the surgery. We're going in on Tuesday to schedule the surgery and get an explanation of what to expect from Dr. Suliman.
Today, the oncologist called and told Joe that the PET scan revealed three cancer sites. The vertebrae, some lingering cancer where the left arm lymph node had been removed and some in the right armpit lymph node. We're thinking that this is probably good news. At least better than hearing "there's also cancer in all your major organs etc..."

Until Joe has his surgery, he has to be VERY careful. If he should happen to fall down, the spongy, cancerous vertebrae would not protect his spinal cord and he could easily be made paraplegic. Because of this and since he is still in a great deal of pain, we have him pumped full of percocet and on bedrest.

My mom came in on Saturday to help out with Persephone through as much of this as she can. We discovered on Friday that having a three year old stuck in the ER, bored, tired and hungry all day and night is not something we should ever, ever do again. she and I were evicted from the waiting room twice.
Current Mood: scaredscared
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